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Written by BtC
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Thursday, 27 November 2008 |
Somalian Pirates are believed to be behind the shocking hijack of the Mayoral Yacht off the coast of Taylor Park Lake that occurred overnight. The HMS Marie Rimmer was boarded in the early hours. The Parkies guarding the boat were quickly overpowered and legged it.
The HMS Marie Rimmer in happier times
It is not clear how the Somalian Pirates came to be so far out of their usual haunts, but local maritime expert and Parr resident Alf Inchnott speculated that the pirates were blown off course by a Zephyr wind, then sailed up the Mersey, came off at the Sankey Canal, before negotiating the turbulent waters of th’Otties and using flooded gutters to complete their journey to Taylor Park.
The only demands received so far from the pirates have been for “A dozen Pimmies meat’n’spud and ten pints of bitter – but none of that Greenalls catpiss” 
Reports that none of the Local Council were being held hostage were met with disappointed groans by assembling spectators.
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Website Issues Warning After List Is Put Online |
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Written by william
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Thursday, 20 November 2008 |
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SHCN forum members have reacted with shock and apathy to its member list being posted online. Usernames, websites links and, in some cases, email addresses of members were leaked. The leak was discovered when one user clicked the Members List link on the forum's main page. Webmaster Brian Thong stated that he was outraged that such a leak had occurred. "SHCN members have a right to go about their lives unhindered by allegations of 'never posting' and 'having a front page that hasn't been updated in years'. These slurs are not true of the website in its current form, and SHCN is keen to distance itself from such behaviour." Despite his strong words, Thong has not posted to the forum since September.
The leaked list contained details of over 250 Celeb members, including students, musicians, college lecturers and careers advisors, although almost two-thirds of members are listed as having never posted. More alarmingly, over a quarter of the posting members are listed as known aliases of one man, identified only as M_Market. |
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Greetings. This is the automated voice of Nick Clegg |
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Written by Mac_Market
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Friday, 26 September 2008 |
 I'm contacting you today to let you know about our campaign to get more people posting on St Helens Celebrity News. Now although this might appear to be a nuisance call, rest assured that we are making this call for genuine market research purposes. We want to hear from people and our prognosis of the other St Helens based forums is that they are out of touch and not listening. I, Nick Clegg truly believe that Lord Brian Thong and SHCN are an outfit who do want to listen to what people think. So much so that they want you to speel your shit on the forum. So please accept this invitation and dial "1" for THE LOUNGE, "2" for THE JUKEBOX, "3" for THE SPORTS BAR. Come on, get involved now. Please note: THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE LURKING IN THE BACKGROUND. YOUR HOME MAY BE REPOSSESSED IF YOU DO NOT KEEP UP A SUITABLE POSTCOUNT ON A THREAD OR ANY AVATAR SECURED ON IT.
Rates from 7.9% to 19.9% APR – our highest rate would only be apply to those in the deepest shit. Living in the countryside, maybe struggling to pay your mortgages, it might sometimes be hard to save money. In this case, a wise precaution to take would be to cover various things with insurance, just in case something were to happen. Good insurances to go for include home insurance, obviously, as well as pet insurance for your pets and cheap van insurance if you drive a van at all. |
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