Following SHCN's scoop five years ago, Elton John has agreed to another interview in his luxury terrace in Clock Face St Helens.  A famously fickle fucker, John seemed in good spirits when we turned up at his pad.

'Alright bastards?' the Rocket Man quipped as we entered the porch, 'Don't think I've forgotten about that shite you wrote about me and our Dave' he continued.  'He nearly lost his welding job 'cos of that, you twats.  He's on good money an all, so we could have been in shit'. 

Our reporter laughed along with Elton as he showed us round his sumptuous retreat.  'Got all the mod cons, me.  Just got that new Sky thing that let's you watch telly again.  Fucking brilliant, it is!' 

However, as John continued to show off, our reporter noticed something suspicious lying on his new Ikea table.  'What the fuck is that?' asked our reporter.  ''Nothing' he replied and grabbed the booklet off our man.  'It's a signing on book. isn't it?' said our man.  'No it's not' shouted the toupeed one.  'Now get the fuck out of my house.'

So, once again SHCN has fallen out with Elton John.  However, as we are very concerned about benefit fraud, the details of this case have been passed on to St Helens Police in College Street.  A spokesman for the rozzers said 'We are aware of Mr John's activities in Clock Face and have been monitoring him for some time'.  Rumours have also been circulating that Elton is 'shitting himself' and is considering moving to Parr in an attempt to outwit the fuzz.