Hollywood star and ex-Pimbletts delivery driver Benecio De Toro has sent shudders through St Helens Highways Planning Department with a strongly-worded press release about the state of the Borough's roads.

In a statement released yesterday, Del Toro, 41, attacked the department across a broad front, singling out their 'obsession with building mini-roundabouts all over the show' and asks why this council 'seems hell-bent on building more speed bumps at a time when government recommendations are to cut back on such traffic calming measures'.

He also questions new bus lanes, particularly on Marshalls Cross dual-carriageway: 'It's crazy' said his statement 'if I want to nip to Morrisons for some El Paso dinner kits and Corona lagers I invariably get stuck behind some old twat doing 20 mph down the one lane of the dual-carriageway that we're allowed to use, there's only two buses an hour for chrissakes!'

He saves his strongest attack though for the roundabout at Ravenhead 'Ehup carumbah!' said Del Toro's  agent, 'this roundabout actually makes you break the highway code, what were the fuckers thinking of?'

The council haven't responded as yet but would be well advised to heed Del Toro's statement as he's chairman of the powerful transport lobby group 'Common Sense Roads for St Helens', which boasts several powerful Hollywood figures of St Helens descent including Naomi Watts (Parr), Clive Owen (Clink), Ben Affleck (junction) and Jenna Jameson (Sutton Manor).

When pressed by the council for a response to Del Toro's claims they hung up on us.

Story submitted by Bobby Zelmet