Explorer, mountaineer and world-reknowned reckless idiot, Chris Bonnington, is making final preparations for his assault on the hitherto unconquered north face of Billinge Hill. T'lump - as it's known locally - is the highest point in the entire county of Merseyside and many attempts on its north face have had to be curtailed when the weather has taken a turn for the worst: persistent drizzle is common. To date, the hill has claimed several fatalities.

Billinge Hill, taken from nearby Carr Mill Dam

Unconfirmed reports suggest that amongst his party will be none other than St Helens Celebrity News' very own contributor Mac Market, resplendently decked out in his new kagoul from Sports Soccer.