| I was responsible for September 11th |
| Written by Lord Thong | |
| Sunday, 18 March 2007 | |
 Johnny Wellies, has sensationally confessed to being the al-Qaida number 3 last night and admitted he was the mastermind behind the September 2001 wheelie bin tipping incident round the back of Maccy D’s on the link road. The apparent confession has come as a revelation and a shock to locals as he has always been seen as a post modern icon in town. One source is quoted as saying that he’s always been a bit of a fantasist, saying he had a house on BoTH (Back o' Town Hall), had loads of money really and a doctorate in pshychology and that jam for toast, like most things, should be marinated in the bum cleft. It has long been suspected that Johnny has been a bit of a terrorist, although the allegations regarding the burning of Cindy’s in the eighties were soon dropped following the realisation that he was on a training camp vacation in Pakistan at the time. Reporter - Mac Market |