Barcelona, is case you didn’t know, is in Catalunia which is quite different to the rest of Spain. It is an autonomy which basically means they sort out their own shit and don’t get bossed around by Madrid. I hate to spoil the myth that Spain = hot but it just isn’t true. Fair enough the average temperature in Summer is sbout 30º but in winter its a nice and brisk 10º. Not helped by the fact that Spaniards do not seem to be aware of the existence of carpet or central heating! Not like the comforts of Billinge i can tell you.

If you like art, this is the place to come. There is psychadelic Gaudi shit everywhere and plenty of tourists to take pictures of it. It is a very cultural city really. Head to ‘Las Ramblas’ for half a mile of street entertainers, pet stalls, flower stalls, jewellry stalls and pickpockets. Most of them are immigrants from the Magreb, not meaning to be racist but keep your eyes open for them getting too close and if someone accidently bumps into you check your pockets.

A trip to Camp Nou (Nucamp) is definitely a must - try to see a game if you can. They are all footie obsessed here so it’s just like being at home really. Go to the Olympic Stadium but do that first 'cause to be honest its tiny and a bit of a let down. Also the Magical Fountains (Font Magica) which on Friday and Saturday night, are all colourful and done to music.

Spaniards don’t know how to drink. You never see anyone spilling out at the end of like night like Nexus 'cause they are all bloody sober! So us English birds have to show em how its done.

So if you come to Barcelona expect a nice cultural time, don’t worry everyone speaks English but here are some phrses to keep you going anyway.

A beer please - una cerveza por favor
Egg and chips twice - dos platos de huevos y patatas fritas
Piss off you Spanish twat - eres coño Español, vete a la mierda
Your bird is a minger - tu tia es fea
No, England are going to win the World Cup - no, Inglaterra va a ganar la copa del mundo

Sharky

Feb 2002