In response to the recent "continent-ilisation" of St Helens, with its swinging tits and terrace cafés, our French cousins in twin town Chalon Sur Saone have recently adopted some of our local traits; albeit with a gallic flavour.
Promenade the main street there and you may now encounter :

"L'homme des Bottes", a colourful character who often cries "Sacré Bleu!" at hapless passers-by, but be careful underfoot, for "Le Merde Blanc de Chien" may just be lurking nearby.

In the local Shopping Galleries, small children frolic within the "Serpent qui mange les Enfants".

"Jean qui vient de Vegas", a corpulent soul, can often be found regaling locals over a Pastis, whilst nearby, local youths quaff "Cidre de Normandie" outside "L'alcool Bien Marché".

Those searching sustenance can feast on the local "Tarte de Boeuf et Pomme de Terre".

On a word of caution though, the quarter "L'Avenue d'Elizabeth" is best avoided, and visitors must be vigilant, as "Akim le Violet" is still at large.

Reporter - Briandroid