Somalian Pirates are believed to be behind the shocking hijack of the Mayoral Yacht off the coast of Taylor Park Lake that occurred overnight. The HMS Marie Rimmer was boarded in the early hours. The Parkies guarding the boat were quickly overpowered and legged it.


The HMS Marie Rimmer in happier times

It is not clear how the Somalian Pirates came to be so far out of their usual haunts, but local maritime expert and Parr resident Alf Inchnott speculated that the pirates were blown off course by a Zephyr wind, then sailed up the Mersey, came off at the Sankey Canal, before negotiating the turbulent waters of th’Otties and using flooded gutters to complete their journey to Taylor Park.

The only demands received so far from the pirates have been for “A dozen Pimmies meat’n’spud and ten pints of bitter – but none of that Greenalls catpiss.”

 

Reports that none of the Local Council were being held hostage were met with disappointed groans by assembling spectators.