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Welcome to St.Helens Celebrity News

Image taken from the movie "Shoot 'em up"

Think you know what's going on in your hometown. Think you know who's who? No you fucking don't.  St Helens Celebrity News is the only place you'll get all the gossip on the movers and shakers in the post-industrial shithole that is...  'Tellins.   Read on knob jockeys. 

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Packed with Wining and Dining Reviews

Ramsay opens a drive through in Parr

Whether your a Buzby's drinker or more of a Larkins man / woman. St Helens Celebrity News has all the latest review on the town's culinary delights.  Checkout our scoop on Gordon Ramsay's new venture in Derbyshire Hill.

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And Stories Featuring Urban Legends and Real Stars

Image taken from the "Invaders"

Yes, look out Nicole, Purps is behind you. Then again, your a woman with no muscles, so you'll probably be alright. Get involved in SHCN and submit your pics and stories. Just make sure they're funny and St Helens-related.

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Not Forgetting The Latest Pop Sensations

Image taken from the movie "The Kingdom"

Scully is currently in negotiations with Take That to replace Robbie Williams. This is the kind of news only St Helens Celebrity News can find. And it's all true! We don't treat our readers like thick bastards like the tabloids do. What you read on SHCN is 100% fact, honest.

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Council To Nationalise St Helens Celebrity News
Written by Mac_Market   
Monday, 18 February 2008 11:47

After months of deliberation, St Helens Council have decided to take this board into temporary public ownership.  This decision has been made following consultation with the board shareholders and the boards contributing members.  It is believed that by bringing the board into a period of nationalisation, this will better protect the many lurkers who are unwilling to contribute to prop up this ailing board any longer.
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Woodward Redacted BJ

shaunwoodward

Following the recent scandal surrounding the MP's expense claims, SHCN can reveal some juicy gossip about Sainsbury heir Shaun Woodward's claims. Read more here.

Jarvis Cocker is an Alien

JarvisCocker

Irrefutable proof has been gathered that former Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker is not actually a humand being, but an alien from the planet Thaarg.  Read more here...

Ramsay's Parr Restaurant

GordonRamsay

Following the recent success of Jamie Oliver's take over bid for the Spicy Chicken, top foul-mouthed chef Grodon Ramsay is now after a piece of the action. Read more here...